I have been battling with my two conflicting personalities for the better part of my life. There is one side of me who wants to start behaving like an adult and doing adult things like buying groceries, watching the news and going on dog play dates. However, there is this other side of me, and she’s a pushy bitch who gets what she wants.
When people meet me, they always comment on how well put together my life is. I am currently working three jobs (only technically: one of them is only during the summer, one of them is selling Mary Kay and one of them is Nannying) while going to school for Spanish and Nursing, I say please and thank you wherever I go, I’m always dressed my best and I ALWAYS put out fires when given the opportunity. The plain truth is that really, I only pretend to know what I’m doing. On the surface you may see calm, cool, collected Jewel, however underneath the surface is a twelve year old with ADD whose biggest concern is acne and that weird thing that has been stuck on my laptop screen for three f***ing weeks and won’t go away…
I’m the kind of person who wakes up one morning and decides to move to Los Angeles, but one week later, after talking up my big plans to run away to Hollywood, I change my mind because I want to be an animal psychologist. My friends have a difficult job trying to keep up with my fly-by-night “finding myself” ideas, but they know that they are trying to find themselves just as much as I am, minus the delusions of grandeur.
I’m nose diving quickly into my 20’s, and I don’t really know what I want from my life. Somedays I think I know what I want from my life, but then cosmo tells me I no longer want that and I’m back to square one. We’re all on a mission to stay in that second square, but for now, square one is comfortable, and I can still stay out until four in the morning and get suckers at the bank.