I put as my Facebook status last night, “I was a nerd before being a nerd was cool”. But I think people didn’t really believe me. So I’m here to prove my genuine nerdiness to the internet and all that do not believe.
Before school I was an only child and had to find ways to entertain myself. Therefore I found rather interesting ways to use the tools at my dispense. If that meant wearing a mustache on my face or some swimming goggles to make me laugh then so be it. I had a great childhood and I don’t care how I had it!
This is me at girl scout camp in probably 2003. Let’s just look at this photo closely real quick. Notice the visor. Dear me, this was not a good look. Don’t try it again. You also cannot forget the frizzy hair and glasses. I’ve also chosen to nicely accessorize my polka-dot blouse and vest with a faux camel skin water jug. This was also the summer that I grew three inches… in my legs. Therefore all of my jeans were too short and I was shockingly gangly. And did you notice that my jeans unzip… in the flare… in the front?
Once I got into school I was a MAJOR bookworm. I was one of the first kids to learn to read in my kindergarden class. And I don’t mean reading selective words with the help of my parents’ coaching, I mean actually reading sentences! (The fact that I couldn’t spell my last name until first grade has nothing to do with my reading skills… what kindergardner can spell Christensen?!)
My parents got me into the Star Wars franchise at a young age, and when Episode I came out my recesses were filled with me pretending to be Queen Amidala… except Obiwan Kenobi, played by Ewan McGreggor, was so much cuter than Anakin Skywallker… so I pretended that she hooked up with Obiwan. I had coloring books and a Queen Amidala doll. At one point my room was littered with Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewbacca action figures. Star Wars was the shit. However, I am sad to say that my knowledge of Star Wars faded when I fell in love with another movie/ book franchise, Harry Potter.
The Harry Potter Years were long and honestly still going, just not as strong. I was first skeptical of the Harry Potter books due to their wild popularity (I seem to still have this feeling about books like these i.e. Twilight which I have never read). When I saw the trailer for Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone, I became intrigued and decided to check out the book. I was immediately hooked and read the next three (Rowling was only up to Goblet of Fire at this point) before Sorcerers Stone was released in theatres. I began seeking out Harry Potter posters at every store and market, and by the time Chamber of Secrets was out on video my walls were no longer visible due to the amount of Harry Potter posters and paraphernalia on them. My mom made me a fake wand because every day I came home and would pretend to be Hermione. At recess my friends and I played Harry Potter and eventually, when I got a Playstation 2, I started getting the games. I cried when Harry found out that he had a god father and the time when Harry and Ron were fighting in Goblet of Fire and they made up because they are such good friends. I also liked to pretend that when I was doing my homework, I was actually doing my homework for Hogwarts and would get detention with Snape if I didn’t do it. Hey, I had straight A’s all through elementary and middle school.
I fell asleep to tapes of Goblet of Fire and Order of the Pheonix for about two years straight.
When I found these my first thought was, “Shit, I lost Chamber of Secrets”. And I may or may not have stayed up until six fifty in the morning playing Harry Potter: Quidditch World Cup.
Oh, what per-say do you think is in this here box?
Why it’s my authentic Hermione wand, that’s what!!!!
The hardest part for me was accepting that I wasn’t going to Hogwarts and I wasn’t going to be shipped off to England to learn how to hone my wizarding skills. The summer after I turned eleven I checked the mail diligently to see if I had received a letter from Hogwarts telling me about my special gift and that I had been living with silly Muggle parents all along. But school started and no letter came. I cried for like two days.
I have now gotten over my sadness about not going to Hogwarts due to my maturity and the fact that I would have probably befriended Harry and gone through all of these death defying stunts or possibly died. I’ve made my peace with being a Muggle.
Tonight, while watching The Daily Show with my Muggle Mom, I saw the most fascinating clip.
IT”S QUIDDITCH FOR US MUGGLES! It works basically like regular quidditch except you are running with a broom between your legs and some poor guy has to wear a yellow shirt and be the snitch. I want to start a league at my college. I’m not kidding. All of you UM kids: let’s get working on this. I call chaser or maybe seeker… I haven’t decided. Let’s chat.