Mark Zuckerberg Owns My Soul and He Owns Yours Too

I love Facebook. Facebook is like my meth. I used it once and now I will never be able to stop. But you know what, I’m fine with that. I never got into the games and questionnaires on Facebook because I think they are stupid. I think the questionnaires are stupid because it’s so incredibly judgmental of your friends and it clogs up my wall with unwanted crap that absolutely means nothing to me. I think the games are stupid because you could do so many better things with your time on Facebook like tag people, like things, or creep on people’s photos. That’s what Facebook is for.

In my years of being on Facebook, I have discovered that there are many types of people on Facebook and I think Facebook thrives off these people, but it still doesn’t make me any less frustrated with them.

The Creepy Guy Who Comments Awkward Compliments on Photos
I’m not good about taking compliments in general. I don’t know what it is, but I just become very embarrassed when people compliment me and worried that I won’t respond in the right way. However, my least favorite thing is when guys whom I do not know comment on my photos saying things like, “Ur hott”. First of all why can’t they just spell the fucking words right? Dear Facebook Creep, you feel the need to not spell out the full word you’re but you at and extra t to hot? Also, do you think that your smooth words and terrible spelling will make me fall for you? You would be wrong. Granted, it is partially my fault for allowing people I didn’t know to be my friend on Facebook and I’ve now become more restrictive of who I allow to be my friend.

The Over-Liker
When I get on Facebook, nothing makes me more happy than when I see that someone has liked what I have said. The most satisfying feeling for me is when the likes on a status update or comment get up into the double digits. I really feel like I’ve done something of worth at that point. But one thing that bothers me is when someone likes everything everyone on Facebook says ever. It’s kind of disappointing when you see this person like something you wrote because since they like everything you can’t really trust that they actually like what you have written or that it was even funny or interesting. The like button was probably the best invention by Mark Zuckerberg and the almighty Facebook Gods, but when the over-liker abuses the like button, it makes me lose faith in the like button and all it was made for. 
All of My Status Updates Are Song Lyrics Because I’m Just That Deep
I’m not going to lie, I’ve put song lyrics in my status update before, but when every single status consists of other people’s words, I no longer believe that the person on the other end of the computer is a human, but actually a robot. 
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